Am I Neurodivergent?
Neurodivergent Therapy in New York
If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Am I neurodivergent?” you’re not alone.
Many adults begin asking this question after years of feeling slightly out of sync. Maybe you’ve always felt different but couldn’t explain why. Maybe certain environments exhaust you more than they seem to exhaust others. Maybe you’ve developed systems, scripts, or strategies just to get through the day.
Neurodivergence describes natural variations in how the brain processes information, regulates emotion, responds to stimulation, and relates socially.
It is not a flaw. It is not a trend. It is not something that suddenly appears because you read about it. It is a pattern of wiring that has likely been present your whole life.
At Our Kind Therapy, we offer neurodivergent therapy in New York for adults who are exploring this question and want clarity without shame. The goal is not to label you prematurely. It is to understand your nervous system accurately and help you feel safe being how you are.
What Does Neurodivergent Mean?
Neurodivergent refers to individuals whose brains function differently from dominant societal norms.
This can include ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing differences, and other variations in cognitive and emotional wiring.
Being neurodivergent may affect:
Attention and focus
Sensory sensitivity
Emotional regulation
Communication style
Learning patterns
Executive functioning
Social energy
Neurodivergence is not inherently disordered. Distress usually develops when environments expect one type of brain and provide little accommodation for others.
Often, the pain comes from misunderstanding not from the wiring itself.
Signs You Might Be Neurodivergent
There is no single checklist that determines neurodivergence. But many adults exploring this question notice patterns such as:
Feeling chronically overwhelmed in busy or fast-paced environments
Difficulty starting tasks, even when you care about them
Hyperfocus on specific interests
Strong sensory reactions to sound, light, texture, or smell
Emotional intensity that feels bigger than expected
Exhaustion after social interaction
A lifelong sense of being “different” without knowing why
Many high-achieving adults discover their neurodivergence later in life because they learned to compensate early.
The outside may look functional. The inside may feel effortful.
What Is Masking?
If you’re asking whether you’re neurodivergent, you may already be masking.
Masking is the process of consciously or unconsciously hiding natural behaviors in order to appear socially typical.
Masking can include:
Forcing eye contact
Rehearsing conversations in advance
Suppressing stimming or self-soothing behaviors
Mirroring others’ tone, expressions, or interests
Overperforming productivity to avoid criticism
Hiding confusion or sensory overload
Masking develops as protection. When authenticity is corrected or misunderstood, the nervous system adapts.
Over time, masking can lead to:
Burnout
Anxiety
Depression
Identity confusion
Chronic fatigue
A quiet sense of loneliness
The body knows when it is performing. Sustained performance without relief creates exhaustion.
If I’ve Managed This Long, Does It Still Count?
Yes.
Many neurodivergent adults are capable, intelligent, and high functioning. Struggle does not have to be visible to be real.You may have developed sophisticated coping systems. You may have chosen careers that align with your wiring. You may have built routines that help you function.
The question is not whether you’ve survived. The question is how much effort survival requires. If daily life consistently feels like more work for you than for others, that matters.
We Treat the System, Not Just the Label
Therapy does not begin with forcing a diagnosis. It begins with understanding.
Distress often comes from:
Years of masking
Internalized shame about being “too much” or “not enough”
Environments that demanded conformity
Relational experiences of being misunderstood
When these layers are addressed, regulation becomes easier. Self-trust strengthens. Identity feels more coherent.
The goal is not to erase neurodivergent traits. It is to reduce the suffering built around them.
How We Work With Neurodivergence at Our Kind Therapy
Our work is experiential, attachment-based, and respectful of neurological difference. Depending on your needs, therapy may draw from:
Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) to build felt safety and relational steadiness
Internal Family Systems (IFS) to understand protective masking parts with compassion
Somatic approaches to support nervous system regulation
Narrative Therapy to shift shame-based identity stories
These approaches are tailored to your nervous system rather than applied mechanically. We move at your pace.
What Neurodivergent Therapy Often Looks Like
Sessions may include:
Exploring the history of masking and adaptation
Identifying environments that increase overload
Building language for sensory and emotional experienc
Practicing regulation without suppression
Strengthening identity outside of productivity
Therapy becomes a place where performance is not required. When the nervous system no longer has to brace, steadiness returns.
Coping Tools and Between-Session Support
We offer practical tools when they’re helpful and aligned with your nervous system.
These may include:
Sensory regulation strategies
Environmental adjustments to reduce overload
Energy budgeting and pacing practices
Support with communication clarity and boundary setting
Strategies for executive functioning and task initiation
These tools are not about fixing you. They are about reducing friction between you and your environment. Sustainable change happens when your system feels understood, not managed.
Difference Does Not Require Disguise
Neurodivergence is a variation in wiring, not a character flaw. When difference is met with steadiness rather than correction, the nervous system shifts. Masking softens. Exhaustion decreases. Identity clarifies.
You are not too much.
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
If you are seeking neurodivergent therapy in New York and want work that honors your brain rather than asking it to perform differently, Our Kind Therapy offers a space where authenticity can replace survival.
