Therapy for Boundary Issues & Emotional Limits in NYC
Attachment-Based Therapy for Boundary Issues, People-Pleasing, and Relationship Strain
Boundaries shape how you relate to your work, your family, your partner, and yourself, especially when you feel pulled to meet everyone else’s needs first. When boundaries are unclear or difficult to maintain, relationships can begin to feel draining, confusing, or one-sided. Many clients come to boundary-setting therapy because they struggle with people-pleasing, emotional exhaustion, resentment, or difficulty saying no in relationships, work, or family systems. Others arrive feeling disconnected or withdrawn after years of prioritizing others’ needs over their own.
At Our Kind Therapy, we approach boundary work as an essential part of emotional health, self-respect, and sustainable connection, not as a rigid rulebook or a one-size-fits-all skill. We work with clients across New York City, including Manhattan and Brooklyn, both in-person and virtually.
Signs You May Be Struggling With Boundaries
Boundary issues often show up in subtle, ongoing ways rather than as a single breaking point. You may notice:
Difficulty saying no, even when overwhelmed
Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions
Guilt or anxiety after asserting a need
Resentment building in close relationships
Overexplaining or justifying your limits
Pulling away or shutting down after prolonged overgiving
These patterns are especially common for people who value connection, responsibility, harmony, or care deeply about others.
Why Boundary Issues Are Often Hard to Change
Boundaries do not exist in isolation. They develop within relationships.
Many people learned early that closeness required accommodation, that expressing needs led to conflict, or that taking up space risked rejection. Over time, the nervous system adapts by prioritizing safety and connection over self-protection.
From an attachment-based perspective, boundary difficulties are not a failure of communication. They are often a sign that your system learned to stay connected by minimizing yourself.
Boundary Setting Is Not About Pushing People Away
Boundary setting is often misunderstood as being firm, detached, or emotionally distant. In reality, healthy emotional boundaries support closeness by clarifying what you can give without losing yourself.
Effective boundaries tend to:
Reduce resentment
Protect emotional and physical energy
Support mutual respect
Allow relationships to feel sustainable
Create space for honesty
Boundary work is not about becoming less caring. It’s about learning how to care without self-erasure.
Boundary Issues in Individual Therapy
In individual therapy, boundary work often focuses on:
Understanding where current boundary patterns developed
Noticing emotional and bodily responses to asserting needs
Working with guilt, fear, or shame that arise around limits
Strengthening internal permission to take up space
Practicing boundaries that feel aligned with your values rather than forced
The goal is not to perform boundaries correctly, but to build a relationship with yourself where your needs are taken seriously.
Boundary Issues in Couples Therapy
Boundary challenges frequently surface in romantic partnerships.
Couples may struggle with:
Mismatched needs for closeness or space
Difficulty expressing limits without conflict
Resentment around emotional or logistical labor
Blurred boundaries with family, work, or caregiving
Fear that boundaries will create distance rather than safety
In couples therapy, we help partners understand each other’s boundary patterns and develop emotional boundaries that support connection rather than threaten it.
How Boundary Work Begins to Shift
As boundary work progresses, clients often notice:
Less resentment and emotional fatigue
More clarity about what they can and cannot offer
Increased confidence expressing needs
Reduced guilt when prioritizing themselves
Relationships feel more balanced and intentional
Boundaries become easier to hold when they are supported internally, not just stated externally.
How We Work With Boundary Issues at Our Kind Therapy
Our approach to boundary setting therapy is relational, experiential, and grounded in attachment theory. We focus on:
Understanding the emotional meaning of boundaries
Working with the nervous system so limits feel safe
Exploring relational patterns that maintain overextension
Building self-respect and internal clarity
Practicing boundaries that fit your values and relationships
We don’t offer scripts or rigid rules. We help you develop boundaries that feel natural, sustainable, and true to who you are.
When Boundaries Feel Less Like a Battle
Boundary setting doesn’t require becoming someone else. It becomes possible when your system learns that you can protect yourself and stay connected at the same time.
Therapy offers a space to practice that balance with support, care, and clarity, without pressure to get it right immediately.
If you’re seeking therapy for boundary issues in NYC and want an approach that honors both self-respect and relationship, Our Kind Therapy is here to help.
