Self-Esteem Therapy in New York
Attachment-Based Individual Therapy at Our Kind Therapy
Low self-esteem rarely announces itself loudly.
It shows up as a quiet pressure you live under. Second-guessing yourself. Over-explaining. Working harder than necessary. Tolerating more than you should. Measuring your worth by output, usefulness, or how little trouble you cause.
From the outside, you may appear capable, high-functioning, even successful. Internally, there is often a sense of being slightly behind, slightly lacking, or one mistake away from being exposed.
At Our Kind Therapy, we offer self-esteem therapy in New York for people who are tired of living in quiet self-doubt. We do not treat self-esteem as something to fix with affirmations. We view it as an internal relationship that has been shaped over time and can be reshaped through experience.
How Low Self-Esteem Often Shows Up
Low self-esteem is not just insecurity. It is a way of relating to yourself.
Many people notice:
Chronic self-doubt even after success
Difficulty trusting feelings or decisions
Over-functioning for others
Guilt when resting or prioritizing themselves
A persistent sense of being less than
Low self-esteem is living with an internal authority that is never quite on your side.
Where Self-Esteem Gets Shaped
Self-esteem forms relationally.
It develops through repeated experiences of how you were responded to when you expressed needs, emotions, curiosity, or desire. When care was conditional, inconsistent, or tied to performance, many people learned early that worth had to be earned.
Over time, this lesson becomes internalized. You stop asking. You start editing yourself. You become loyal to expectations that keep you acceptable, but not fully alive.
These patterns are not flaws. They are survival strategies that once made sense.
We Treat the Relationship, Not the Symptom
Low self-esteem is often sustained by patterns of self-abandonment that once helped someone stay safe or accepted.
Often this happens quietly, in daily moments where you override yourself to stay safe, liked, or needed. Each time your experience is dismissed, the internal relationship weakens.
Therapy focuses on repairing that relationship by creating repeated experiences where:
Your thoughts are taken seriously
Your emotions are welcome
Your limits are respected
Your worth is not negotiated
Self-esteem grows when self-respect becomes safe.
How Self-Esteem Begins to Shift
Self-esteem does not change through confidence.
It changes through permission.
Before someone says they feel better about themselves, we often notice:
Less over-explaining
Clearer boundaries
Pushback where compliance once lived
Anger or grief surfacing safely
Reduced tolerance for self-betrayal
These are signs of health. They mean the person is starting to take themselves seriously again.
How We Work With Self-Esteem at Our Kind Therapy
Our work with self-esteem is experiential, relational, and attachment-based. Depending on your needs, therapy may draw from:
Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) to create felt experiences of being valued
Narrative Therapy to loosen internalized stories of inadequacy
Somatic approaches to release shame held in the body
What Self-Esteem Therapy Often Looks Like
Sessions often include:
Noticing moments of self-dismissal in real time
Slowing self-criticism
Supporting authentic expression without apology
Allowing anger, desire, and pride to exist safely
Change happens through experience, not instruction.
Coping Tools and Between-Session Support
We offer practices to help interrupt self-abandonment between sessions while deeper relational work unfolds. Tools support awareness. Relationship creates change.
When You Stop Negotiating Your Worth
Low self-esteem does not dissolve because you finally prove yourself. It dissolves when you stop living as if your value is conditional.
If you are seeking self-esteem therapy in New York and want work grounded in dignity and steadiness, Our Kind Therapy offers a space where self-respect can take root.
