Attachment Wounds and Attachment Trauma Therapy in NYC
Therapy for Attachment Wounds, Relationship Patterns, and Emotional Safety
Attachment wounds show up in how you relate, often long before you realize they have a name. They surface in relationships that feel intense, confusing, or exhausting, even when you care deeply.
They may appear to be pulling away, holding on too tightly, people-pleasing, shutting down, or constantly scanning for reassurance. Closeness can feel risky. Distance can feel lonely. Neither option feels steady.
At Our Kind Therapy, we work with attachment wounds as relational injuries rather than flaws in who you are. Therapy becomes a place where safety is built slowly and consistently, so connection stops feeling like a threat and starts feeling possible.
We offer attachment-focused therapy across New York City, including Manhattan and Brooklyn, with in-person and virtual sessions available.
What Attachment Wounds Actually Are
Attachment wounds form early, within relationships where emotional needs were inconsistently met, misunderstood, minimized, or overwhelming to others. They develop through lived experiences of closeness, not labels or diagnoses.
Many people with attachment wounds function well in other areas of life and feel confused about why relationships feel so much harder.
These wounds shape how the nervous system learned to stay connected and safe. Over time, they influence adult connection, including how much closeness feels tolerable, how conflict is handled, and whether needs are expressed or hidden.
Attachment wounds are not about blame. They are about adaptation to environments where emotional needs were not consistently safe to express.
How Attachment Wounds Show Up in Relationships and Daily Life
People seeking therapy for attachment wounds often notice:
Anxiety or panic around closeness or commitment
Over-functioning, people-pleasing, or emotional caretaking
Fear of abandonment or being too much
Difficulty trusting consistency, even when it is present
Conflict that escalates quickly or leads to shutdown
Feeling safer alone, but lonelier than desired
Heightened awareness of changes in tone, distance, or responsiveness
These patterns are not random. They are organized responses shaped by early relational learning.
Individual Therapy for Attachment Wounds and Relationship Anxiety
Many clients come to individual therapy saying they understand their patterns, but cannot seem to change how their body reacts in relationships.
In individual therapy, the focus is on rebuilding internal safety and self-trust. We work with clients to:
Understand how attachment patterns developed
Notice how the body responds to closeness, distance, and emotional need
Soften harsh self-judgment around relational behavior
Develop the capacity to stay present without collapsing or fleeing
Experience a consistent, attuned connection within the therapeutic relationship
The therapy relationship itself becomes part of the healing process. Being seen, responded to, and emotionally held over time allows the nervous system to update what connection can feel like.
Couples Therapy for Attachment Wounds and Repeating Relationship Cycles
Attachment wounds often become most visible in intimate relationships.
In couples therapy, we help partners understand how their individual attachment patterns interact, creating cycles of pursuit, withdrawal, conflict, or disconnection. Therapy slows these patterns down so they can be seen clearly and worked with directly.
Our work with couples focuses on:
Reducing reactivity and escalation
Helping partners recognize attachment responses rather than personal attacks
Building emotional safety during conflict
Creating new experiences of repair and responsiveness
Supporting connection without pressure or collapse
Couples therapy is not about fixing one partner or deciding who is right. It is about understanding the system the relationship has created and reshaping it together.
What Attachment Therapy Feels Like at Our Kind
Clients often ask what makes attachment work different. What matters most is how safety is built over time.
Our approach to attachment wounds is experiential, relational, and deeply human. We work in real time with what happens in connection rather than staying at the level of insight alone.
We use:
Attachment-based therapy to understand relational patterns
AEDP to support emotional processing within safety and connection
ISTDP informed work to gently address defenses that once protected but now restrict closeness
Somatic awareness to help the body register safety, not just the mind
We move at the pace of integration, not urgency. The work is steady, direct, and respectful of how attachment injuries actually heal.
What Begins to Shift With Attachment Work
With consistent therapy, clients often experience:
Less anxiety around closeness and conflict
Increased emotional stability in relationships
Clearer boundaries without guilt
Greater self-trust and self-respect
The ability to ask for what they need without fear
These changes happen through experience, not effort or willpower.
Attachment wounds do not disappear overnight. They soften as the nervous system learns, through repeated experience, that connection can be steady and safe.
Begin Attachment Wound Therapy in NYC
If attachment patterns are shaping your relationships in ways that feel confusing or painful, therapy can help you understand and change those patterns without losing yourself. Healing attachment wounds is not about becoming different. It is about becoming safer to be yourself in connection.
We provide attachment-based therapy in NYC, including Manhattan and Brooklyn, with in-person and virtual sessions available.
